


You're My Sweet Chaos

by sirosiro



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Brian is not, Brian the High Schooler, Fan and Celebrity relationship, Jae is famous, Jae remembers Brian from concerts, Jae will fall for Brian... I made sure, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2020-12-31 02:21:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21048176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirosiro/pseuds/sirosiro
Summary: Jae notices this lone male fan on his concerts every year, remembers this chubby boy standing in the first row on every Toronto show. One year however, this chubby boy doesn't come and Jae is beyond scared, because his fanboy probably left the fandom.orThe one where Brian is Jae's fan for many many years. Chubby kid always in the first row at Jae's concerts in Toronto, always shy at the HiTouch after those concerts. But this year, Brian lost weight, grew taller and had a massive fail at ticketing because of another confession.





	1. Chaos while queueing

Saying that Jae Park was Brian’s favourite singer would be an understatement. Saying that Jae Park was Brian’s favourite person would be a little closer to reality… Saying that Jae Park was Brian’s absolute everything would be hitting the nail on the head.

Brian was a hardcore fan. He followed Jae ever since he first started posting covers on youtube, left encouraging comments, liked and subscribed. When Jae appeared on K-pop star, Brian was always there, watching the episodes on a small laptop which he secretly stolen from his dad’s office. He supported him all the way when he finally debuted and didn’t stop until now. Buying every album Jae Park released. The only problem about Jae was that he lived across the world in Korea, while Brian lived his high school life in Canada. Except for one day in a year when Jae Park had concert in Toronto.

  


Brian sighed, it was like this every single time. Queue full of squealing females. He felt like a fish out of water every single year, but it was all worth it. He’s going to see Jae again. 

“Look at the guy.” One of the girls behind him squealed and Brian automatically looked around, searching for the guy they were talking about. When he saw only girls in the vicinity, he continued to scroll through his twitter timeline, only to be notified that Jae Park just tweeted. It was a simple_ I’ll see yall in 50 minutes _, but it made Brian smile. 

“Look at that gorgeous smile.” Another one behind his back chirped and Brian looked around again, but saw no other guy for miles. Shaking his head, he peeked back at his phone, typing a reply of_ ‘Can’t wait’ _ to Jae’s previous tweet. 

“Uhm.” A girl beside him cleared her throat and lightly tapped his shoulder.

Brian lifted his gaze from his phone, little bewildered. People never approached him any year before. She probably doesn’t know how the queueing works. “How can I help you?” He flashed her a small smile, which sent her blushing, and Brian had that _ Oh No _ plastered all over his vision. 

To be honest, puberty hit him hard, he grew taller, the baby fat that previously covered his sharp features melted, is all gone and girls are now relentlessly asking him for help, notes, directions, opinions, or his number. Or even more straightforwardly on a date. Which, Brian always kindly refuses. Here’s the deal - he’s gay.

“Uhm, I know it may seem weird… you don’t know me and all, but... would you give me your number? Just you know, for science.” She blushed and held her phone out to Brian.

Brian smiled awkwardly, rubbing his neck. He was alway on the verge of mental breakdown when someone asked. How to make it simple... ? “You see, it’s scientifically proven that I like three legs better than two.” Good job Brian, witty, short, now only thing left is to hope she understood what you meant.

Result however came way sooner in the form of serious coughs from the girl. Her eyes were bulged out and her cheeks redder than ever before. “I’m s- sorry, I didn’t know… didn’t think about the possibility…” She left shortly after.

Taking a deep breath, Brian checked his phone again. 46 minutes and unknown number of confessions left till the show starts.


	2. Chaos in My Tummy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian is eleven and he thinks there is something wrong with his tummy because of all the late night snacks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, another very short chapter is up!   
I know it may be annoying, me posting every other day just a few words here and there. But I realized just now that it somehow makes me write consistently.  
First few chapters will be little chunks of Brian's life up until he actually met Jae, so please bear with me.   
Once they meet, it will be different... ;) 
> 
> Enjoy reading!! :)
> 
> also, English is not my first language so please ignore all the mistakes and weird word usage. :)

Imagine Brian as eleven-year-old. Fox-like eyes, chubby cheeks, pointy nose - dressed in an old Spider Man t-shirt, that he liked to use as pajamas, munching on snacks he had hidden in his closet, right behind the pile of neatly ironed t-shirts. His mom was always cooking healthy and Brian had some sort of love-hate relationship with his mom's cooking - it was tasty, yes. But sometimes he needed something unhealthy and his mom was furious when she caught him eating snacks. Partly worried for her only child's health, partly worried about what kids in Brian's class would have to say. Because mind you, they had a lot to say. Mostly about his physique. He was bigger than others, and he knew that all to well, but there was never a reason for him to try and look better for anyone. His mom and dad loved him the way he was and that was enough for the eleven-year-old Brian. 

  
  


That evening, Brian was munching on a paprika-flavoured potato chips, while watching this Korean-American guy's videos on his dad's laptop. All this several hours after he announced  _ I'm sleeping early today mommy _ and gave her a tight hug. His dad worked his evening shift that day, greatest opportunity to skip sleep, secretly watch this funny, talented, good looking boy on youtube while filling his tummy with all the yum yums he had secretly accumulated in his closet all through the week. 

Brian logged into his account, pleasantly surprised by a notification that yellowpostitman uploaded another video. He didn't waste any time and clicked on the thumbnail. Watched the video with smile on his face and hearts in his eyes. He left the comment of praise and encouragement, something in the lines of  _ I can't wait for another wonderful cover. _ Brian didn't know at that time, that the weird clenching in his gut wasn't because he was overeating late at night… rather something he would come to understand only some years later. 

  
  
  
  


This snacking-slash-watching youtube was his routine for several months. That was until one day his mom caught him red-handed with his hand holding a cheese ring right in front of his open mouth, while watching the guy on youtube. Brian didn't notice when his mom sneakily opened the door to check on her son. Brian felt bad for cheating his mom. But not too bad because right after she caught him, she made sure he ate no such things (at least at home, she wouldn't know what he are when he was out), and also told Brian's dad about his son secretly stealing the laptop and watching  _ who knows what kind of videos _ , as she called it. Since then, Brian was snackless, laptopless, and most importantly he didn't get to watch his favourite youtuber for another several months. 

  
  
  


Pages in calendar turned from 2011 to 2012. Brian turned one year older in December and his dad decided that his son was punished enough and secretly let him use the computer, without Brian's mom knowing. It would have been very dangerous if she knew. Brian was sure it would cause problems not only to him but to his dad as well. Even though he was young, he knew his mom wanted only the best for him, she thought that forbidding him from using computer would somehow make him go out to play with his friends more, move around and maybe lose some weight. Plot twist - Brian had no real friends except for some classmates that he talked with, but it was not anything he could call friendship. His mom was trying, but it was her son that did everything the other way. He was sure and knew for fact, that if he'll ever want, he'd lose it in no time. He was very persistent when it came to his goals after all.

  
  
  
  


One day, front door shut close and Brian heard quiet footsteps behind the door to his room, then two knocks. His dad peeked in, smiling at his son who just drowsily raised his head from the notes he was revising for the test. “Mom went shopping. We have a dinner planned this Friday...I told her she should buy some nice dress.” He winked and it was all Brian needed to shoot up from his seat and out of the door. He stopped when he was half way to his dad’s study. He ran back to his dad, and have him a brief hug muttering  _ soft dad you’re the best _ . Maybe, just maybe he had a really close friend, that is, if his dad can count as one.

  
  
  


Once he sat behind the desk, he opened the laptop and pressed the button to turn it on. Excitement was bubbling in his stomach. He was wondering just how many covers yellowpostitman uploaded while Brian didn’t have chance to watch… Few clicks here and there. Opening the browser, typing in the familiar web address, username, password. And then there it was - big huge nothing.

Brian was surprised and disappointed once he clicked on the boy’s channel only to find out that there were only two new videos, that too uploaded three months back. Yellowpostitman didn't upload anymore. Brian frowned, maybe his mom prohibited him from using his computer? But then he shook his head no at his own thoughts. Yellowpostitman was a grown boy, by brians guess about 6 years older, he doubts moms do that to boys his age.

Brian watched the new videos, new for him, otherwise nothing recent. He went to the comment section, just in case - maybe yellowpostitman will read his comment even if he doesn’t post anymore. As he scrolled down, something caught his eye. Comments from other users he rarely read before.  _ Imagine my surprise when I watched auditions for kpop star and this familiar face appeared. Glad I knew you before all that craze started _ and something else,  _ Yellowpostitman apparently has a name… Jae Park _ …  _ good luck boy _ was all that he needed to open a new tab and start searching. First, he tried Jae Park, but only Jay Park showed up in results. Brian tried further and added kpop star hitting enter. And that’s when he was sucked into magical world of Jae, contestant of Kpop Star, who by that time made it to finals.

Brian watched all clips available from youtube and he was not disappointed. His chest swelled with pride. It was different feeling to see yellowpostitman, well, Jae Park like this. He looked more mature in the stage lights, his pale skin shining, eyes twinkling behind his glasses, tightly gripping his guitar. He looked gorgeous - as if he was born to stand on that stage.

Brian logged out, turned off the computer and walked out of the study with wide and content smile on his lips. Now all he needed to know was is he will be able to somehow watch SBS on TV every Sunday evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading and leaving kudos!  
I hope you like it so far... :)


	3. Chaotic results

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian watched Kpop Star early in the morning and Jae is forgetful.

Brian’s dad stirs after receiving jab in the ribs - thanks to a very sharp elbow of his wife, he paid attention to what she had to say right away.

“Can you remind me why we’re watching this at six in the morning?” She jerked her head at the TV. Their son curled on the floor, watching intently.

“Because we love or son dearly…” He reminded her.

She cocked her brow. “He’s acting weird.” 

“That’s why I always say he took after you.” Brian’s dad received another jab in the ribs.

She took a deep breath in annoyance - yet another week when her plan of making her son exercise early at least on Sunday morning got canceled, because her son announced he’s going to watch something else on TV. She agreed because she thought it would happen once or twice… But then she got a toothy grin from her twelve-year-old, telling her _ it’s a competition airing every Sunday mommy _. “All my plans-” she threw her hands in the air, “Pooof, gone.” 

Brian suddenly turned around and glared at his parents, shushing them immediately. 

“Is this puberty already?” His mom whispered to her husband.

“No it’s not puberty yet, mommy.” Brian turned around once again. “And psssst now. Jae is on next.”

Brian’s mom rolled her eyes mouthing _ Jae is on next _ with a mocking expression. Her husband chuckling beside her. “This is exactly why I said he took after you with that annoy-”

Wrong move, as Brian turned around again, whining. “Daaaaaad, not you too!” This time his _ dad _rolled his eyes.

On TV, after short commercial, program started again. Another contestant was interviewed about the song choice, and Brian squealed inwardly - Jae Jae Jae. He had to control his reactions in front of his parents. But he had a really hard time doing so.

“We cheering for this one?” His dad asked from the couch. Little Brian just nodded his head vigorously and continued watching intently, his eyes fixated on Jae who looked too nervous as he stood in the middle of a huge stage, with his signature guitar - the one that Brian knew all too well from his youtube days.

Music started, Jae started singing and Brian was breathless. His voice smooth and sweet like honey. At that moment, Brian wondered if he’ll ever stop being that smitten by just about anything Jae sings. 

“That boy is actually good…” His mom chirped, suddenly intrigued.

Brian turned around for a millisecond. “What do you mean actually..?” And turned back to watch, in order not to miss a thing.

Rolling her eyes she looked at her husband. “He has this after you, though…” 

“Stop rolling your eyes, they’ll stay like that one day.” 

“Momdy, stop talking!” Their son didn’t even bother to turn around.

“Momdy?” They asked in unison.

Jae just finished his performance, there was a little time for explaining. “Mommy-” he pointed to his mom, “plus daddy-” he pointed to his dad and then clasped his hands together, “momdy.”

“Genius!” Brian’s dad looked at his son. “I take it back he took after me after all.”

Brian just _ had to _ roll his eyes. He could only guess that he was a well balanced mix of both of his parents.

Brian was disappointed when he heard opinions which judges shared. They thought Jae had to improve much more in order to go further in competition, Brian thought he was already perfect. They said there were much better singers in the competition, Brian saw no one else.

That round, Jae got eliminated. And Brian couldn’t help but let few tears trop from his eyes. It was not fair, he learned about Jae being on Kpop Star only like… two weeks ago. And now his bias already got eliminated - he would not see him sing another song. _ What is life. _

He suddenly felt someone pull him into a half-hug. “He was good, I’m sure he’ll be successful in life.” His dad whispered and pressed soft kiss to his son’s black hair. “It’s just a competition, this won’t determine how his life turns out, you know that… right?” Brian nodded, wiping the tears on his cheeks with the sleeve of his pink hoodie. 

“I know.” He sniffled. On screen, Jae was bowing, trying to keep it all together, but it was visible that he was sad._ I wonder how that feels for him _, he must be sadder than me… that already seemed hard to imagine.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jae was exhausted. He was sad when he got eliminated, upset that the votes he received were not enough, however, now he could finally breathe. No matter how much he wanted all this - doing music, being famous - he couldn’t help but feel suffocated, he felt pressure he never felt before in his life. Everyone had expectations, he himself, his family, friends, judges, producers, not to mention general public watching the show every single week. 

He breathed out, closed his eyes and tried to arrange his thoughts. At the moment, he didn’t know what he’ll do next.Should he go back home, or stay there and chase after his dream… no matter how hard it would get?

“Jae, are you okay?” His mom knocked on the door. 

They came back to his parent’s hotel room only few minutes prior. Jae decided he wanted to spend time with them. He didn’t feel like staying at the dorm with other contestants. He wasn’t one of them anymore. 

Jae heaved a sigh. “I’m okay mom, no need to worry.” He called and then heard footsteps as his mom walked away from the door. He was grateful that his parents didn’t push him into unnecessary conversations. He sat down on the bed, and palmed his face. He could feel energy seeping away, he could feel tension in his body disappearing, he could feel… his phone vibrating?

Jae took it out from the back pocket of his jeans. Besides several _ I’m sorry man _, messages from his friends, there were number of notifications from his youtube app as well. Only one however, caught his eye. Clicking at it, he waited for the app to load. 

He blinked his eyes, pushed the glasses up his nose. 

**bbyK-YH **sent a DM

Hello, Jae!

I wanted to tell you, that you worked hard, and your performance was wonderful. 

I loved it, really. I’m sorry you didn’t pass this round, but I’m sure you’ll achieve even greater things in the future.

Stay who you are, please never change.

Your biggest fan, B.

Jae smiled at his phone’s screen. It was the same username as always. Someone who left words of encouragement under every single one of his videos. There were several months when there were no comments from that person, and Jae was kind of disappointed. Every time he uploaded new cover, he waited for that someone to leave some kind words... nothing. Until two weeks ago, when bbyK-YH left comments on his most recent videos…

Jae lied on his back to reply to the message.

to** bbyK-YH**

howdy!

thank you for your support and your kind words

they really help me to keep going..

your favourite, J

“Jae are you having late night snack with us?” Jae’s mom abruptly opened the door. Jae panicked and dropped his phone, which landed right on his nose. 

“Ouch, oh fuck!!” Jae clutched at his nose. 

Jae’s mom hurried over and observed her son. “Language young man… and take care of that.” She said and left.

Jae groaned, when he felt blood dripping from his way too sensitive nose. 

He left for the bathroom, his phone and message he wrote long forgotten...


	4. Chaotic words

Brian didn’t have time to think about Jae for another few weeks, as he had exams coming up. He was stressed, which led him to stress-eating, which let to his mom nagging at him for gaining weight, which led to making Brian exercise and that resulted with Brian having little to no time to spy on Jae, lurking through social media platforms or any news portals.

“Mom, can we not do this today?” Small Brian whined as he was descending stairs, ready to go out for another run, together with his mom. She made sure to go as well, Brian was clever like a fox, and sending him alone wasn’t an option. She found him several times just lazing around, sitting on the bench in the park near their house.

“Should have thought about the consequences when you were showing those snacks down your throat.” She opened the front door, gesturing for Brian to go first. “Stop pouting, it won’t help.” 

Brian just groaned as he stepped out of their house. His mom made sure to keep him busy.

  


It was something over 7 weeks after Jae got eliminated that the news emerged. Brian got a rare opportunity to sit comfortably behind his dad’s laptop and scroll through everything he missed during these few weeks. His parents went over to their neighbour’s house for dinner. Brian politely refused the invitation, stating that he’s sure he’ll gain weight if he ate some more that day, and his mom didn’t protest. It seemed like her son started to watch his calories. Little did she know it was mostly to have some time to breathe again. Without having to read his textbooks over and over again, or running like a hamster in a wheel all the time. 

Jae signed with JYP entertainment - that’s what he learned when he clicked on the most recent news article. Brian hummed approvingly. He knew that Jae was talented and would have no problem to sign contract with some label. But signing with JYP, saying that he was proud of Jae would be an understatement. 

Brian logged into his youtube account and clicked on his DMs. There was this message glaring at him. The one he sent to Jae, but never got a reply to. Not that he was surprised, he would be more surprised if he actually received any sort of answer. He was sure that he wasn’t the only person trying to reach out to Jae, trying and failing. THere must be thousands of messages in his inbox, so Brian didn’t dare to hope. Still, he started composing new message. He had this _ what if _ mindset when he wrote to Jae. What if he opens it, what if it will happen because his message will be right on top…? He started writing, without much thought.

**bbyK-YH** sent a DM

Hello Jae,

I just read the news, congratulations on signing the contract!

Good luck, I’m sure you’ll do great!

With love, your B.

And he hit sent. And then felt like banging his head against the wall when he realised just what he had written in the last line. He was trying to calm himself with h_ e won’t read it anyway _ s, and _ Jae probably forgot his password _as he logged out. He was so mad at himself that he actually felt like going for a run - yeah, that bad.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jae was sitting in his room, at the dorm where he moved just recently, right after he signed his contract. He was rooming alone for now, enjoying the calmness, enjoying the space he had just for himself - for now. 

He plucked the strings of his guitar mindlessly. He was just playing whatever he felt. There wasn’t anything on his mind, his fingers moved on their own. 

He was told to settle in his room, get used to the life at the dorms and start his training some days later. Jae felt a little uneasy. It felt like he was beginning from the scratch. He knew he was better known than most of the trainees at the company, but at the same time - it meant nothing. This was a whole new fight that only the best of the best would survive. Jae being Jae, this tall and insecure boy from California was not sure if he was one to survive. Especially after being on the receiving end of the mean glances he got from his fellow trainees.

His phone vibrated. Jae peeked at the device. Not many people contacted him these days, only his mom, closest friends and that was about it. His mouth stretched into a smile when he unlocked his phone and saw that it was a youtube notification for a new message. He tapped the app icon, curious about who sent him the DM. However once he opened the messages, he could only blink blink his eyes. That bbyK-YH person messaged him - again. And that was when the past events flashed in his memory, the reply he wrote, that bloody nose his phone caused him, the fact that he forgot to hit send. 

Jae opened the message, read it with a smile plastered on his face. It was probably the first time in days that he smiled genuinely. Jae re-read the previous message as well and hit the reply button.

to **bbyK-YH**

Hey, B.

I’m really thankful that you’re out there still supporting me.

It will probably take some time ‘till you hear any news again..

just hang in there buddy, I’ll work hard to repay you for everything 

Love, yours J

This time around, Jae made sure to hit send. It felt quite weird to be speaking to someone he never met, someone who supported him for what he showed so far. But it felt good. To know that there was someone to stand by his side and cheer him up even though he, himself didn’t know what would come.


	5. Chaotic Relationships

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter is up! 
> 
> Have fun reading and don't forget to stream Sweet Chaos.  
I can't even describe how much I love this album, honestly... ♥

It was a few days later, when Brian got to use his dad’s laptop again. He would lie if he said he didn’t squeal, as he clicked on the messages icon. He blinked his eyes as he read the message, several times, mind you. He still felt like he couldn’t breathe. Was this really happening? It was not some sort of joke, was it? He checked the ID several times… it was indeed Jae. Brian grinned at the screen few more minutes.  _ Yours J _ …? His little heart swelled. He would totally lie that he didn’t screenshot and print out the message he received. What if he got locked out of his account. You need to be prepared for everything.

  
  
  
  
  
  


_ Just hang in there… _ no problem. Brian was prepared to support Jae, through thick and thin - he was determined. He would do that… Brian supported Jae, several months passed, year, two years… and Jae? There were no news about Jae. 

Little guy didn’t expect one thing though - for life to happen.

Brian was no longer in elementary, he was in high school now and really busy trying to adjust to the new environment. Long gone were the easy school tasks, they moved on to a more advanced ones, and Brian had to keep up with everyone, had to make his parents proud as a good son that he was. He had to be excellent in every single subject just like before. It was eating on his free time. Where he would usually site behind laptop in dad’s study, he was now hunched over the desk in his own room, trying to memorise the materials from school that kept on piling up.

He logged in to check. From time to time - time to time meaning intervals of several months. There were  _ still _ no news of Jae. Brian didn’t care that much anymore. Suddenly had his own life. He met new friends, Terry and Don. He was almost fifteen, so he spent most of the time out with his friends - no time to sit behind the screen and wait…They were real - Jae was not. Jae was more of a crazy fantasy. 

He waited years for Jae to reply again - that never happened. Teen Brian understood, that life happened on the other side of the globe as well. 

Year 2015, still no news about Jae - not even crumbs, nothing... at least Brian thought so, he didn’t check anymore.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Meanwhile Jae has been practicing like crazy, his debut was underway. There were still so many areas he was lacking in and so little time to improve. He’s been holed up in his practice room or studio all day and high. He felt exhaustion creeping in, but he didn’t let it to take over. He needed to practice, but his fingers were doing everything against him, it all felt too much. 

It’s been several years of hard work. Several year of practice every single day. He trained his vocals, guitar, MCing, even dance - until company ultimately told him it was waste of time, that he would never debut in a dance group because his limbs were doing everything but what they told him to follow in a dance routine. Jae wasn’t mad, because they were right, he never saw himself as a member of a dance group, he was leaning more towards live music, live instruments… he wondered for a long time if it will be ever possible, If it wouldn’t be better to give it all up and move back home. 

He denied such thoughts after some thinking. He spent too much time and efforts on all this, his parents moved to Korea because of him, to support and help him if he needed anything. Although Jae sometimes wondered if his mom’s nagging about  _ better finding real job than living in this uncertainty  _ was really supportive or rather making him want to curl into a ball and roll back to States.

His debut was announced, schedules were set, and here he was - still uncertain, if this is it, if this is really happening. If there is anyone out there waiting for him. It’s been years since he last appeared on TV, he was aware that it was possible some forgot about him. He had no contact with his fans, whatsoever. Why? Because company took his phone about a week after he moved into the dorms. They said it would be easier to concentrate on his training. 

It was, but now he was more than happy that his training was already over.

  
  
  


Jae debuted in September 2015. Brian had no clue, he was out with Terry and Don that day, just like every day....

  
  
  
  
  


“What’s with him?” Terry asked Don. They went out to celebrate Brian’s birthday.

Don threw a worried glance over to his other friend. Brian was picking at his food, eating but mostly inspecting what the hell they actually ordered. He was slowly regretting his food choices. His mom was right, it was harder to lose weight than he thought and looking at all the greasy stuff in front of him, he felt like throwing up. 

“He’s… I don’t really know.” Don looked Brian up and down again. “He usually swallows all that without chewing.”

“I’m fine!” Brian suddenly raised his head to look at Don, Then Terry and lastly at the girl who’s been sitting there with them all along. Brian imagined this celebration a little differently.

_ Maybe _ it wasn’t about food. Maybe, just  _ maybe _ Brian was butthurt. Terry said they were going out.  _ They _ , usually meant him, Don and Terry no more, no less. But today, Terry dragged this girl along to celebrate with them. Not a friend but not a girlfriend either. He always said they’re getting _ there _ . Whatever there meant, Brian thought. 

She was nice to all of them, witty, smart and really, _ really pretty _ . That’s what pissed Brian off the most. He had no chance, not looking like a short pig that he was as compared to Terry. 

Brian realised it along the way, as he was growing up that every time his two friends turned around when they saw a pair of really nice legs, he just continued walking. He had a nice pair of legs himself, he tried to reassure himself. He reassured himself all the time, it was okay. It’s okay to be different. But he was not that  _ pretty _ , Terry would never consider him more than just a friend. Terry was not like that.

The only person he told was Don. He was open-minded enough, understanding enough, kind enough to be there when things got hard, when Terry talked about his girl too often. Don has always been there to save the day. Somehow change the topic, Don always looked after Brian and his feelings.

“Guys!” Lisha suddenly exclaimed. Showing her phone to everyone. “They say it’s confirmed, Kcon in Toronto…” 

Brian just raised his brows. “You listen to k-pop?” 

“Listen? I-” She started but Terry interrupted.

“She’s obsessed, if that is even enough to describe…” He palmed his face. Looking at Lisha through his fingers.

Brian had to laugh. It seemed like Lisha and himself had more in common than he expected. 

“Oh, shut up!” She rolled her beautiful eyes. “It’s not obsession, it’s excitement what you see…” 

“You want to go to Kcon?” Brian found himself asking. He didn’t have many people to talk to about his past hobbies, a.k.a. following Jae’s every step. This conversation he was having felt like he went back in time.

Suddenly all the memories coming back - Brian sneaking into his dad’s study to watch videos in secret, watching K-pop Star early in the morning every Sunday, crying with Jae, crying for Jae… waiting for news, any news.

Brian didn’t realise he zoned out, until one particular name brought him back. “What did you say?”

Lisha smiled at him sheepishly. “Lineup for Kcon.” She pushed her phone on the table, right in front of Brian. “All the good names are coming over.” She pointed at the article, and Brian had to blink his eyes repeatedly, when he saw familiar face, familiar glasses, familiar name written in big bold letters.  _ Jae Park _ . “Not to mention Jae Park, he’s-”

“A professional hottie.” Brian found himself finishing.

Their whole table burst out laughing, Don had his eyes bulged out as he tried to wipe the cola he just snorted through his nose, Terry was folded in half almost lying under the table from laughing so hard, Lisha was blink-blinking back at Brian with the widest smile he’s ever seen on her. “I was about to say soloist under JYP, but professional hottie works as well.”

_ Oh shit. Back in the game. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for leaving kudos and comments everyone!  
It means a lot.. :)
> 
> Also, Jae and Bribri may or may not meet, or at least see each other in next chapter... ;)


	6. Chaotically Organized Ticketing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian gets tickets, Terry thinks Brian's handsome and Jae is a workaholic.

The sound echoed through the room, clock on the wall going tick-tock, tick-tock. Brian has been looking at the clock for the past few minutes, somehow trying to push the time He hoped it would go faster, so that all this, however it ends will finally be over. Waiting was killing him, ever since he was little, always impatient. He tapped his fingers on the desk in front of him, girl next to him just raising her perfectly shaped brow without bothering to comment on his action, because she was doing the exact same thing. 

“This is not a life-or-death situation, but somehow it feels exactly like that... “ The girl commented. 

Brian just nodded,  _ exactly my thoughts _ . It wouldn’t be the end of the world if they failed to get those tickets, but at the same time it would feel like ultimate betrayal if Jae would be in the same city as him, and he wouldn’t be able to see him perform. He was daydreaming, again…

  
  


Brian sure didn’t expect things to go this way. He never expected to sit in an internet café one one computer, Lisha sitting right next to him on the other, both of them periodically refreshing the webpage of the ticket portal. 

“What if we don’t get the tickets?” Lisha mumbled, as she refreshed the page once again.

Brian’s stomach clenched uncomfortably. “Not happening. We’re going to Kcon.” 

“Yeah, right.” She nodded, determined and Brian was hoping his words would turn out to be true.

“It’s open, it’s open!” Brian jerked.  _ Oh fuck. _ He needed to hurry, his companion has been already clicking and tapping away on the keyboard madly.

  
  


The madness already started and Brian never felt like internet connection was this slow. Too freaking slow. Pages took longer to load, number of empty seats decreasing rapidly, and his heart… his  _ poor _ heart was beating somewhere in his throat. He did what he could, selected seats, pressed continue, filled in the information, clicked continue… _ tab crashed _ . 

“This is un-fucking-believable!” He palmed his face and tried to reload the page. Nothing. He had to start again.

He filled in everything as fast as he could, finally pressed  _ pay now _ , it moved to next page but there this little circle just kept turning, and turning… and again, nothing was happening. 

_ Fuckity-fuck. _

Just then, when he already lost all his hope...  _ payment successful, tickets confirmed _ . 

Brian and his poor heart saved. The last part didn’t show on the screen, obviously.

He managed to buy tickets sooner than Lisha. Thankfully, because he could hear her groan besides him, palming her face. “Shit. It’s useless… it doesn’t work….”

  
  


Brian, who was really content with his purchase, turned to his fellow k-pop enthusiast with the widest smile. “No need to be so dramatic…” he jerked his chin at the screen.

Lisha lifted her gaze to look at him, then to where he pointed. “No way!”

“Yes way! I told you we’re going!” But he was not so sure just a few minutes back. His heartbeat gradually started to come back down, but his stomach still clenched. He’s going to see Jae. Oh wow...

“My gosh! Brian you’re the best!” She threw herself on him, hugging him tightly.

“Don’t let Terry hear that…” He laughed as she pulled away.

Lisha rolled her eyes, closed the browser on the computer and turned it off. “Terry Who? We’re going to Kcoooon!” She exclaimed. 

Brian curled in on himself as several people around them threw a weirded out look at Lisha. “Calm down.” He whisper-yelled.

  
  
  


He sort of understood Lisha’s feelings though, he felt like yelling from happiness, but there were always people around on his way home and even upon arriving home, he spotted his mom in the kitchen.

Brian greeted his mom who was cooking at the time. Something smelled wonderful and looked even better and Brian being the foodie of the family unconsciously licked his lips. He tried to take at least a spoonful of rice from the rice cooker unnoticed, but his mom must have eyes even on her back.

“Don’t even think about it, young man.” She said without even turning around to look at her son.

“How would you even know?”

“I gave birth to you, I signed a contract for some twenty-one years to take care of you… I know you better than you know yourself.” She finally turns to cock her eyebrow at her him. “And believe me, when you suddenly stay silent, I just know you plan on munching on something or you’re in the process of it.” 

“You’re unbelievable…” Brian groaned and looked once again at the fluffy white rice, looking unbelievably good....

“I’m doing it for your own good.”

“Uh-huh. Sure.” He stuffed some rice into his mouth, closed the lid on the rice cooker, hurriedly ran to his room and locked it.

“You little!!” He could hear his mom. “Like father, like son…” 

Then Brian could hear her resume what she’s been doing. She got used to his antics, it was useless to tell him no, his stomach had his ways...

  
  
  


Brian plopped down on his bed, still munching on the rice. Looking up, he smiled at the familiar face on the wall - Brian managed to get his hands on Jae’s poster in the past weeks. He ordered it from Korea, his mom quite surprised when she saw where it came from. His heart felt at ease, he was going to see him, live, in flesh in several weeks’ time. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


It was sunny and warm afternoon, the three friends walking side by side. School finished, they were on their way home. Terry towering over his two friends as he walked in between them.

“So  _ you’re _ going to that Kcon thingy…. with  _ my _ girlfriend?” He asked in disbelief, Brian pursed his lips. Terry was so possessive, it always made him smile. Oh yeah, at some point during the weeks that passed, Terry and Lisha started dating - officially.

“Uh, yeah?” Brian suddenly felt small under his friend’s glare.

Terry stopped walking, turned to Brian with his hands on his hips. “Don’t try anything funny.” And just like that, Brian just had to admit that Terry could be intimidating when he wanted.

“No worries.” Don chirped, looking at the exchange with amusement. “Not with him. Harmless.  _ All _ girls are safe.” 

Brian narrowed his eyes at his all too talkative friend.  _ Shut your trap dude _ . He really, really hoped that Don won’t run his mouth in the future. It would be a rather big disaster… like, the biggest one.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Terry turned around to look at his other friend.

Brian grabbed Terry’s arm to get his attention. Pointing at his own body, he came with an explanation. “You really think someone would want this?”

Terry rolled his eyes. “This-” He pointed at Brian’s bulging belly, “can be taken care of, but this-” He points to Brian’s face, “this is what I’m worried about.”

Brian resumes walking, ignoring Terry’s implications. He wasn’t ugly, maybe kinda good-looking, if you’re into guys with feline eyes and pointy nose... But definitely not good-looking to the point where anyone would be interested. “Stop making fun…” he muttered but Don caught it.

“Forreal, though. The girl in that other class, what was her name…? Doesn’t matter really when it comes to _ you _ , but-” Brian glared at Don again. “-but,” Don continued, unbothered. “She said you’re cute, and that if you lost some weight, you’d be totally her type.”

Brian had to keep himself from rolling his eyes. So in the end it was all about the weight. Not his personality.

“There were some other girls I heard talking about you as well.” Terry added as they walked towards the bus stop again.

Brian didn’t really care, the one he likes, or liked? Has someone else he loves and girls… well, they weren’t Brian’s thing. And if someone wouldn’t love him for who he is right now, they don’t deserve to love what he has hidden under all the fat… 

“I’m not planning on getting fit just because of bunch of girls.”

“Obviously.” Don commented.

Brian rolled his eyes this time. Remind him to not ever mention anything in front of Don. Like… ever. “I mean, I’ll lose all this when I’ll want to, because of me, not because of someone else.”

He won’t lose weight just because someone tells him he looks cute. Nope. Never.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jae sat in  _ his _ … yeah, his very own practice room. Not that he was an artist, not just a trainee he got one. It had other perks as well, he had his own dorm, where he didn’t live with other trainees, just him, his manager and band that backed him up on every single of his performances. 

Everyone called them  _ Jae’s band _ , and people would know, but Jae called them Bob, kinda scary-looking but very handsome guitarist whose name was Sungjin but Jae always came with something entirely new and B- Sungjin knew better than to correct him all the time. 

Then there was Wonpil the sunshine of all sunshines, with the widest smile who played keys.

Last but not least there was Dowoon, the new kid that everyone adored, they called him Drum. Mostly because it once slipped Dowoon’s lips and they used it ever since, or also because he was like one with his drums. 

  
  
  


“You still there?” Sungjin peeked inside the room, where he found Jae hunched up over his guitar, sitting on one of the stools.

“Yeah, wanted to practice some more.” Jae smiles when Sungjin plops down on the stool next to him. 

“You realise we practiced for-” Sungjin looked at his wristwatch. “About ten hours… we went through that setlist several times. Now, you need to rest.”

“But I still-” Jae protested.

Sungjin took Mery, Jae’s electric, from his lap and put it on the stand. “No buts, we’re going home.” 

Even though Sungjin was few months younger than Jae himself, he couldn’t help but think about how authoritative the younger sounded. He was all about eat well, rest well and then practice. And Jae was thankful, really thankful to have Sungjin there to send him home. He was exhausted, so exhausted, but he wanted to show his best in Toronto, in two days. He didn’t want to lack when compared to other performers there. 

They both walked out side by side, Jae turned the lights off, locked the door. Few steps closer to getting some rest in his comfy bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ticketing struggles are real people. I was pulling at my hair last year because their London concert was sold out in what seemed like seconds. lol
> 
> thank you for reading, kudos and comments everyone!   
Have a lovely day. :)


	7. Jae, the Chaos himself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jae can't seem to dress normaly to save his life, and Brian is left speechless.

Brian’s hands were clammy, he felt nervous and it must have been really visible because Terry wrapped his long arm around his shoulders. “What are you so worried about?”

Brian looked up at his way to tall friend. “I’m going to see them live. People I’ve only ever seen through my computer screen.”

“Oh don’t worry about it too much.” Lisha said, after she was finished fidgeting with her phone’s camera settings. She pulled Brian to her side and slipped her phone over to her boyfriend. “Take a picture for us, will you?” 

Terry raised a brow at her. “What for?”

“To commemorate this day!” Lisha gave him her  _ are-you-stupid look _ .

Terry rolled his eyes, but snapped the picture anyway. Several pictures to be exact, because Brian couldn’t seem to look to the front, his eyes focused somewhere behind Terry. “What are you looking at? Look at the camera-”

Brian loled his head to the side, nudged Lisha as well. His heart was beating too fast, he had trouble breathing. “Are my eyes betraying me? Isn’t that-” He pointed to something behind his friend.

“Biggest fashion disaster ever?” Terry added when he turned around and spotted two guys Brian was eyeing. 

One tall and lanky, was bickering not so silently with a shorter guy who ofa stronger build. Both of them dressed… interesting. Terry would rather not comment on their fashion choices, to be honest. They were both wearing hoodies, hoods covering their heads. Taller one wore pink one, some black skinny jeans with way too many holes and slippers. That was a big no-no in Terry’s books. He turned back to his girlfriend and best friend.

“You’re right!!!!” Lisha exclaimed as she shook Brian’s arm, jumping on her toes. Trying to get even better look of the pair who was awkwardly hanging around, still bickering.

Terry looked to his girlfriend, confused. This didn’t seem to be reaction to the statement he made. “Why are you both freaking out?” He asked.

“Don’t let me fall on my face if I faint, okay?” Brian mumbled, ignoring Terry altogether.

Terry looked as confused as ever. Looking between the fashion disaster pair, Lisha and Brian. “Care to explain to a non-kpop addicted person who feels really left out at the moment?”

Lisha theatrically pushed her long black hair over her shoulder and rolled her eyes. “Brace yourself, Terry-bear. They are-” Brian didn’t catch the rest of the explanation because Lisha stood on her toes and whispered it to her boyfriend. Security measures if you asked Brian - sensitive piece of information, if you will.

He didn’t really mind it though. He was too busy looking at something, well, someone several feet away.

Brian was suddenly brought back by his friend’s shriek. “What? Brian’s Jae?” Terry turned so fast to look at the lanky guy again, that Brian started to worry for his neck.

Lisha sighed. “He’s everyone’s Jae, but, yeah, him.” 

Corner of Brian’s lips quirked up. He liked the sound of it -  _ Brian’s Jae _ .

“What’s with the slippers though?” Brian’s friend had his judging face on again.

“Heck if I knew…” Lisha shook her head as all three of them continued watching that oddly dressed pair.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Can you _ please _ tell me why we’re doing this?” Sungjin whispered, tugged his hood just a little lower, trying to cover his face as he trailed after Jae, who was way too fast with his long legs.

“It’s for science Sungjin.” Jae wiggled his brows. “Also… it’s fun.”  _ Hopefully no one will recognise us, otherwise it will be way too much fun.  _ Jae added, but only in his head. Last time someone spotted him in the streets of Seoul, he was really grateful for his long legs. But this was Toronto, who’d know him, right?

Sungjin was already stressed out, he didn’t need to tell him he felt the same.

Here’s the deal. Jae was curious, what it looked like outside of the venue. If people were excited, who was the idol they came to support… if there were any fans waiting for his performance. He just wanted to blend in, enjoy the event from different perspective. Rehearsal was over and he felt bored, willing to do just about anything to spice things up.

Also, Jae had this weird nagging in the back of his mind for the past few days.  _ What if people forgot about you, Kpop Star is long over, what if you are worse than other performers, what if you mess up… many what ifs without answers.  _ Jae was that sort of person who needed answers.

These thoughts brought them where they stood at the moment. In front of the venue, trying to blend in with the rest of the people there. 

Jae wearing ripped jeans, pink hoodie, sunglasses and slippers, his favourite footwear. Yeah, slippers. He wanted to fit into the crowd, but it seemed everyone decided to dress well in Toronto, oh well… To say his clothing choice was hard to overlook would be an understatement. 

Even harder to overlook was Sungjin who was dressed quite normally, but acted suspicious. Before they left Jae told him  _ “act like you normally would” _ that in Sungjin’s language probably meant look around and shy from other people’s glances as if someone was chasing after you.

“You said we’ll be okay, but everyone is looking at you…” Sungjin grumbled at Jae’s side. “It’s those slippers, I’m telling you.” 

Jae looked at his feet, wiggling his toes, then back at the other. “What is  _ that  _ supposed to mean?” He really tried to widen his small eyes at Sungjin and act intimidating, but visibly failed because Sungjin just raised his brow comically, the way only he knew.

“I said what I said.” He smirked at Jae. 

Jae rolled his eyes. “Nope, Bob. It’s you acting weird and suspiciously, looking around like someone is after you. Don’t blame it all on me.”

Sungjin straightened up, crossed his arms over his chest, probably trying to prove to Jae that he is indeed not the one who grabs the attention of people around them. 

“Sorry to inform you, but I’m sure that at least two of our managers are already after us by now. I’m just being careful.” 

“That’s why we need to blend Bob. We need to socialize.” Jae took a small step towards the queue. 

“Where the hell are you going?” Sungjin gasped and tried to stop Jae by grabbing his sleeve. “You can’t go over there!” He whisper yelled.

“I’m a k-pop star, I can do whatever I want.” Jae winked at his friend. “Imma talk to some of them, make friends, get some intel. If you’re scared, stay right here and sniff around for managers.”

“What do you mean sniff around?” Sungjin raised his brow. “I’m not staying here without you! you dragged me out, take responsibility!” 

Jae threw his arm around Sungjin’s shoulders and made him move along toward the queue. “Look, they all seem friendly. We’ll have fun talking.” Jae tried to assure Sungjin, and himself as well.

“Yes, of course, because my non-existent English skills will totally let me communicate… with people… they’re Canadians, Jae.” Sungjin huffs but walks along nevertheless.

  
  
  


Jae already had his eyes set on a bunch of people. One giant (read way taller than Jae himself, and Jae is already quite tall if he says so himself), next to him a slightly shorter boy on a chubbier side who was glancing in Jae’s general direction (but Jae doesn’t really mind, the fact that he himself can’t gain weight no matter what he does doesn't mean others can’t have some meat on their bodies) and a very beautiful young girl with long black hair who looked excited as she explained something to the giant. 

They were all asian, so Jae guessed it shouldn’t be too weird to come up to them and strike a conversation, right? Especially when he caught that cute chubby guy glancing his way more than once… and maybe Sungjin was right (as per usual) and his clothing choice was a bit more than unusual for this country.

He made his way towards them anyways, his palms were sweaty,  _ heck I’m Jae Park, let’s man up a bit _ , but that bravado soon left him when he came to stand in front of them. 

The giant turned to him with a raised brow and his mouth slightly ajar. Sungjin nudged him from behind, when he realised Jae just kept staring and didn’t say a word.

“Howdy gUys.” Voice crack. Fantastic. Hopefully won’t happen during the show. 

The giant still stared him down, and the other two just gawked at him. 

Tallest one suddenly turned to the other guy, as if waiting for his reaction, the girl in the meantime was getting beetroot red in the face, turning to look at the shorter boy as well. Jae was not too sure what was going on.

Sungjin, who now stood right behind Jae shuffled around awkwardly, just waving his hand without saying anything.

“Hi.” The girl piped up, nudging the guy standing next to her, who was even after all the time that passed just gaping at Jae. 

“So, how are you guys? Today will be fun!” Jae tried, but maybe (most probably) this was just another disastrous idea of his.

“Uhm-” The giant human made Jae look up at him. “Actually, only these two are attending.” He pointed to his two friends. “I’m Terry by the way, that is my girlfriend Lisha, and that is Brian, my best friend.” Terry introduced the other two seemingly forgot how to act around other humans.

“Nice to meet you!” Jae said excitedly. Maybe it won’t be such disaster after all. Lisha smiled at Jae and then at Sungjin who came to stand next to him in the meantime. Brian was standing awkwardly by their side, refusing to lift his gaze.

“Actually-” Terry continued. Bless him really, he was not affected as much since he didn’t really care about his reputation in front of the idol. “This one-” He pushed Brian to the front. “-is a huge fan of J-” and that was when a chubby hand covered Terry’s blabbering mouth. 

Brian had to stand on his toes but this was a matter of survival for him. Survival of his pride in front of Jae, to be exact. Terry so won’t embarrass him in front of Jae, he’ll make sure. “... j-just about anyone who is performing today. Right, Terry?” Brian, who was quiet until then was suddenly very loud, as if trying to persuade himself as well. 

Jae laughed at their antics. Patting Brian’s shoulder, tryin to act friendly. “You’re cute.” He managed in between his laughs. Brian’s eyes that reminded Jae of the one of a fox were wide, watching him warily. 

“M-me?” The boy pointed at himself. His heart felt like leaping out of his chest as he rubbed at the place where Jae touched him.

Jae stopped laughing a smiled at Brian. “Yeah, you… and you friends of course.” Jae added, catching himself. That was awkward. 

“You’re plenty cute yourself.” Lisha smiled sheepishly, which made Jae blush and Terry shoot daggers with his eyes.

“That… I am, I guess. But what I wanted to ask you guys-” and the rest of the sentence flew out of the imaginary window because Sungjin kept on nudging him in the side, pointing his chin in the direction they, themselves, came from. “Oh shit.” Directed at Wonpil who was looking around, dressed in his infamous pink sweater, attracting unwanted attention. Some people recognised him and Jae froze in his spot.

“Told you this wasn’t a good idea.” Sungjin started loudly, but lowered his voice when several heads around them turned in their direction. “Seeing they sent Wonpil after us is even scarier that the thoughts of managers chasing us. Let’s go.” He tugged at Jae’s sleeve. “We need to leave… NOW!” Jae was happy he brought Sungjin. Because getting caught by Wonpil in the public would be disastrous.

Jae turned back to the people he met just few minutes prior and smiled apologetically. “Seems like we have to go… uhm, enjoy the show guys.”

“Thank you.” Brian replied hurriedly, his voice high and squeaky. “You too, Jae.” He waved awkwardly, which Jae didn’t see because Sungjin was already dragging him in the opposite direction from where they came from. 

They had to hurry up because they really didn’t need to meet fuming Wonpil. He was a real cutie normally, but when Sungjin and Jae went to have fun without him (read, ditched him), he got really disappointed every damn time that it happened.  _ Nobody ditches Pirriemirrie _ , he always said.

They were already quite a distance away when it hit Jae… the boy, Brian. He called him by his name. It was a little surprising that they didn’t jump at him, asking him to take a picture or something. People usually tended to get a little crazy, but not them. Interesting, Jae thought.

“By the way… What a social butterfly you are, really.” Sungjin tsked speed-walking by Jae’s side. 

Jae glanced over his shoulder one last time, looking at the boy who was now clutching at his chest, looking on the verge of breaking down.


	8. Be Nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonpil scolds Park bros, Jae needs all the support in the world, year passes and Brian is there again to cheer for Jae.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating for a while, longer while I guess.  
How long is a "while" supposed to take anyways? :)
> 
> I didn't really know where to go with the story, I could blame it on writing it as I go, instead of in advance. Which sucks. Sorry  
I was also a little (more) depressed after the concert, as it always goes after DAY6 concerts... did any of you manage to see them live this tour? :)
> 
> Soooooo here is little something to make up for the wait.  
Thank you for waiting ♥

“Can you stop running around like a headless chicken?” Sungjin hisses at Wonpil, who’s stomping up and down the dressing room.

Wonpil stops to glare at the elder. “Excuse me, but you have no right to talk to me. I’m furious if you can’t tell.”

“Oh, I can tell, alright.” Sungjin mumbles which earns him a snicker from Jae who’s currently sitting next to him scrolling through his twitter feed looking for something interesting to kill some time.

“What did you say?” Wonpil stomped over and glared at both Jae and Sungjin. Sometimes Sungjin suspected the guy had some supernatural powers, because there was no way he could hear him from across the room. “I still can’t believe you two went out, and left me to rot here! Alone.”

Sungjin raised his brow as he looked up at the distressed keyboardist. “I think rot is too strong of a word-”

“You don’t get to decide what too strong is. You don’t know how I felt when I found out the two of you left, and I had to run around to find you.” He crosses his arms like a child, even pouts like one.

Jae couldn’t keep his attention solely on his phone anymore. “Oi, firstly. You’re being a drama queen.” Wonpil gasped at Jae’s words, offended. “Secondly, you really didn’t have to run around to find us. We were doing just fine.” 

Sungjin nudged Jae a little upon noticing a frown on Wonpil’s face, his hand clutching his pink sweater at his chest. “Jae, don’t…” be like this because we won’t be able to hear the end of it. Is what he didn’t say aloud, but Jae got the message anyway.

“Oh, so now you’re siding with me?” Wonpil smirked, he’s always known Sungjin had a weak spot for him. Or not, and he may only want to spend some time in peace before the show starts.

“Dream on.” Sungjin mumbled and blushed profusely. Ok, maybe, but only maybe sometimes he sided with Wonpil for other reasons. But he tried not to be too obvious.

Jae just snickered at his side. He was weirded out about their exchanges in the beginning, when they first met, but as the years passed he got used to it. It was always Sungjin and Wonpil, Wonpil and Sungjin. Two of them always fighting but never really meaning any of it. He thought that it was ridiculous how the two of them liked each other but were unable to confess for years now. How they shared the room, but always had to keep that, whatever it was between them to themselves, because - “It’s not like that between us” - as Sungjin once told him.

That aside, Jae maybe, just maybe felt bad for leaving Wonpil out of their little adventure. If he were to reason it, though he felt like it was the best solution to go with only Sungjin. If they were to go all together, there would be a higher probability of someone recognising them even sooner. Not to mention Wonpil was still wearing that pink disaster, which was like a magnet for the eyes.

Jae’s thoughts slipped back to the boy. The one with the eyes like fox, who mumbled his name so softly Jae almost missed it. He recognized him, yet didn’t jump on him with request like taking a picture or asking for a sign. He was good-looking, well-behaved, Jae liked that type... He overall seemed like a cool kid.

Jae palmed his face and groaned to himself. Kid. That’s exactly who that guy was. 

Jae has to admit, that being closed in the dorms where you could do nothing but practice, practice and practice some more and then take some 5 hours of rest was the only thing he did for several years made his mind sometimes wander. He would look at people around him, notice how normal their life was as compared to his, how they went about hteir daily life, unbothered by attention of others. Going to work, then on dates, holding hands in public without being dragged for it.

He sighed and thought back to the last relationship he had. If you could call it that. They met, went on a few dates and Jae got so busy with his trainee life that the relationship eventually faded into nothing.

_____

“Jae, why are you spacing out?” Wonpil asked as he came to stand next to Jae backstage. The show has already started, several acts has already taken their turn, and exactly that made Jae a little anxious. His hands were clammy, his insides were doing all the weird stuff that they shouldn’t, in other words - he felt like throwing up.

“I’m… nervous.” He answered in a shaky voice. This shouldn’t be happening. Not when he is supposed to sing in front of thousands of people in another few minutes.

“Don’t be nervous, hyung. You got this. You practiced day and night for the past few weeks-” Wonpil pauses when he sees Sungjin and Dowoon approaching them. “Let’s enjoy this stage, okay?” He hugs Jae but only briefly, because he knows Jae is not the one who’s fond of skinship between the two of them.

Another person joined them shortly after, Sunmi. Their bassist - for now at least. They borrowed her from a band that’s planned to debut soon, or not. Depending on demand of public, their manager said from what he gathered. Meaning that this Jae Band as everyone calls it is only temporary. 

“All good?” She smiles at them.

Jae nods at her and finally gives Wonpil a small smile. He stretches out his hand, Wonpil follows with his own on top, Sunmi, Sungjin and Dowoon doing the same. "Lezzgetit" they cheered in unison and laughed at it right before they were ushered up towards the stage by the saff.

Once Jae was up there, and felt the energy from the audience, he felt a little better. He took his guitar, threw the strap over his shoulder and stepped towards his mike. Warily, he looked to his left, saw Wonpil and Sunmi, nodding at him, signaling that they’re ready. To his right, Sungjin did the same. Finally to his back, earning a wink from the youngest. Cheeky monkey, Jae thought.

Let the party begin.

“Howdy everybody, I’m Jae…” He pauses and waits for the cheers to quiet down a little. He scans the audience briefly, first few rows, because he can’t see shit from up there, quite honestly. His glasses only good for matching his outfit, not doing much else. What he notices in about fourth row, or better - who, makes his mouth quirk up in a tiny smile. He suddenly felt weight lift of his shoulders. Familiar yet not too familiar. “... and this is my band.”  
Crowd cheers, boy in the fourth row as well and Jae thinks that maybe, just maybe Toronto shows might become his favourite...

  
**2017, one year later**

  
"I can't wait." Brian stood up on his toes to get a better view. With his height, some os the taller people in front of him were completely obstructing his view. Damn, if only he was few inches taller. How come even some girls at this venue are taller than him?

"Oh shit, I don't even see anything." Said Lisha, who was pretty tall for a girl, but still shorter than Brian, who already had problems with getting the proper view of the stage. 

"We're doomed, same here." Brian whined as he tried standing on each of his legs, trying every possible position. 

"We should have gotten the ones with assigned seats on the balcony, Bri. Would have the view and wouldn't have to queue for hours beforehand." Lisha grimaced as she tried to push back someone from back that wasn’t there previously.

"True. But I’m a sucker for him, please don’t judge." He said which earned a snort from some stranger standing next to him. That skinny girl with overload of make-up on her face eyed him up and down. TO hell with people and their judgemental stares.

Lisha chuckled and that made his attention turn back to his friend. “Same. Otherwise I wouldn’t be here with you.”

“I’ll make sure not to pass this piece of information to Terry.” Brian wiggled his brows and Lisha just punched him in the shoulder. “You know how I meant it.” She whined.

Crowd moved a little to the front, closer to the stage. Maybe, just maybe Brian wasn't that doomed, because people squeezed further to the front - RIP to the ones standing right behind the barricades - and he was suddenly greeted with a clearer view. Place on the stage he supposed Jae will be standing on was still quite far but right in front of the two of them. 

"Whoa, this is crazy." Lisha said, when someone pushed from the back, squishing them again. 

Brian felt little more protective than he should - anger rising. One thing is being pushed from further back, but these girls were obviously people who only wanted to push their way further to the front. Well, surprise! There’s no space, so he obviously snapped. “Can you not push my friend around?” 

Girls behind them who pushed Lisha looked at him as if he grew second head. “What are you going to do about it, fatso?”   
Brian’s hands were clenched, lone drop of sweat trickled down his temple. He was a goody two shoes, yes. When someone doesn’t know you and they come straight for the most obvious thing you’re probably very conscious about, he has a tendency to cry. An at that moment, his eyes just happened to get misty. _Damnit, not again._ He knew that he was seventeen, at the age where things like these shouldn’t get to him, but they did. He was somehow able to stand up to people as long as it concerned his friends, when it came to him, he would always retreat. Just like now, he was just standing there, his mouth slightly open. What was he expecting really, all people saw was his bloated tummy - mind you, he lost some weight. But he was still far from the ideal of beauty that people set for other people. 

“What did you just call him?” Lisha interfered.

“Something doesn’t add up? Just look at him.” She replied and Brian knew that the situation would escalate if he won’t stop his friend. She’s a little overprotective herself. So he just squeezes her hand, shaking his head. _They’re not worth it. _

On the other side of the stage, Jae is biting into his bottom lip. Peeking out from behind the curtains that just so-so happen to hide his tall frame. “There’s so many people. This is crazy.” He mumbles to Wonpil who is by his side, crouching down, doing the same thing as Jae, but looking a little more ridiculous.

People have all sorts of banners, not so surprisingly, some are not even with Jae's name, there are names of his band mates too. Which warms his heart. Knowing that people don’t appreciate only him, but the people around him as well.

After spotting a particularly large _WONPIL MARRY ME_ banner, Wonpil looks back at the elder. “I know I’m usually the one telling you we’ll be fine, but today I need you to be the hype man Jae.” Wonpil draws his eyebrows together.

Jae steps away from the curtain, chuckles at Wonpil who’s complaining about his knees killing him, so he holds out a hand for Wonpil to pull him back up. “In that case I think you need to look for someone else.”

“I’m going to look for Sungjin hyung.” Wonpil announced and disappeared in the sea of staff that surrounded the backstage area.

Jae took a deep breath to steady his heartbeat. He really wished that after almost two years since his debut, nonstop rehearsals, numerous releases, he would get used to the thrill of performing in front of the audience. However, there was always something stopping him from fully enjoying the moment. It may have been his insecurity about not being good enough, or something else. He really didn’t know. 

He turned towards the stage and closed his eyes to gather his thoughts.

_Let’s do well._

Footsteps echoed behind him, gentle squeeze on his shoulder, half-hug from his left, gentle ruffle of the hair in order not to mess it up. He kept his eyes shut as everyone gathered and only opened them when the bright lights from the stage dimmed. Signaling it was the time to go...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, leaving all the kind comments and kudos ♥  
If you want to be friends or just reming me to update, you can find me on twitter @mysirosiro :)
> 
> Also, with the spread of that awful thing all around the world...  
Please, PLEASE stay safe everyone - wherever in the world you are. xx


	9. Bye-Touch event

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowd is hyped, Jae has quite a memory (contrary to what mane people believe) but still lacks brain-to mouth-filter and then they meet again.

Lights felt too hot on his skin, making sweat trickle down his forehead, some of the drops getting into his eyes and stinging like hell. See, if he was anywhere else, he would just wipe it off with his sleeve or whatever, rub his eyes until the stinging stops. However, tonight he didn’t have such luxury. He was standing in front of about two thousand people, in white dress shirt, light blue ripped jeans, his face covered with make-up to the point where when he looked into the mirror, he had a really hard time recognizing himself. 

They were about three songs into the concert, he was already sweating, feeling disgusted with his own body, for lacking energy to push through. 

Feeling hot under those lights shining straight at him was one thing, his mild stage fright that still caught up with him from time to time was another thing. 

Jae looked to the floor, where the setlist for the concert was printed and laid out for him. He squints at the A4 sheet, simply because the lights are blinding and his sight is as shit as ever. After the three songs they performed, he was supposed to do the introduction ment.

He raised his head, shook some stray hair out of his eyes and looked around the venue. People were already hyped up, wiggling their banners in the air, shouting numerous  _ I love you _ s, waving their hands to make him notice them. 

To be quite honest, he has always had a problem with keeping eye contact when it came to the audience. He felt rather awkward and uneasy - those were the people who most probably knew every littlest detail about him, yet he knew nothing about them. And having those people look right into his eyes made him a little uncomfortable. Management however kept pestering him about it, to try and interact, that he is not alone at the venue, they also didn’t forget to mention that  _ he should at least try _ .

So he tried, and as awkward is it must have been for him,, it must have been for people on the other hand, because as far as his bad sight could reach, all the poele outright laughed when he made eye contact with them. 

Okay, not all. There was one exception… the boy who stood someplace in the front, not entirely, but Jae still got a good look at his face. Said boy was smiling widely, eyes crinkling into crescents, almost disappearing and something hit Jae just then - those eyes. He’s seen such eyes somewhere before. He’s seen the boy before, but he couldn’t quite place him. Where exactly did he see him before?

_ If he’s a fan, then at one of my shows, but he’s in Toronto now. When was the last time we were here? Last year, K-con. We performed, there were many people in the crowd, but it wasn’t in the crowd where he saw him… where else. Wait. Wonpil was mad about us leaving him alone, because we went out to explore without him. Queue… those people we talked to… cute chubby guy.  _ “Brian.” 

There goes the lack of inner monologue.

His string of thoughts is interrupted by Sungjin’s hand on his shoulder. When Jae looked over, Sungjin leaned in to whisper in his ear. “You okay? You’ve been spacing out.” Jae just nodded, he didn’t realise how long he’s been quiet. “Who’s Brian, by the way?” Sungjin asked at last and Jae’s eyes bulged out.

“What?” Jae panics.

“Well, you said the name just now.”

Jae’s eyebrows draw together and he looked over to the audience that has suddenly gone quiet. His eyes involuntarily find the boy in the crowd. His mouth is hanging open, fox-like eyes blinking back at Jae.  _ Well shit. _

Jae always had his way to embarrass himself in front of people. Be it his teenage self back in high-school, or his adult self just now. But at least his survival reflexes were quite developed.

“Guys, sorry. I spotted my classmate from high school just now. The name kinda slipped.” There’s only few people who know that there was no such person as Brian on the list of his classmates. Like… ever. He tried to play it off, chuckling and wiping the sweat with his sleeve.  _ To hell with white shirts, to hell with the make-up that just stained it. I really lack brain-to-mouth filter… _

“My name’s Jae, by the way.” he introduced himself and it seemed like the crowd got a factory reset and went to being their wild selves again. Classmate Brian was clearly not interesting enough for them. 

_ A-hyu.  _ That was close. Jae reached for the water bottle while the rest of the band was doing their introductions, and gulped it all down. His eyes involuntarily found the boy again in the crowd. He was looking at Wonpil who kept saying something about having fun to the fullest, when Brian turned his head to look at Jae, as if he sensed someone looking at him. 

Jae blinked his eyes, his body not proceeding with the request of his brain to look away. Brian kept the eye contact, giving Jae a curious look. Once Jae got his eyes off of the boy, he kinda forgot about him until the end of the concert. Toronto proved to be one hell of an energy bomb this time again.

  
  
  
  
  


People started leaving, only a few who had the hi-touch benefit going for them were still lingering around. Wherever Brian looked, people were still in some sort of post-concert high. They were cheerful, chatting with the people around them, looking at their phones - probably checking what they recorded, or uploading it on their socials. 

Brian took only handful himself, that too, before the show started. He wanted to have something to remember this evening by, but at the same time, he felt that if he recorded, he would lose the connection with  _ here and now _ . Thinking back about his decision, he praises himself inwardly - looking around, there will be plenty of footage all around the internet even without him contributing.

“Yo, Bri!” He turned around at the sound of Lisha’s voice. Right after the concert, she had to hurry to the bathroom, mumbling something about drinking too much water and hoping not to embarrass herself in front of all these people.

“You okay?” Brian greeted her with a smile. 

Lisha gave him a million dollar smile, she only showed to people once in a while. “Never been better.” She takes a deep breath, continuing. “You know when I thought the best feeling of my life was seeing Jae just now? Nope. The best one was when I finally got into the toilet cubicle, because I swear, I almost pissed myself.” She got so excited, that her voice rose in the meantime, attracting attention from handful of people around them - they simply snickered when she finished, one girl with a particularly colorful hair gave her a thumbs up. 

“This was…. something.” Brian scoffed, and got punched in the shoulder split second later. Sometimes he forgets how strong that girl is. “Ouch.”

“Ayaya… don’t tell me that hurt you…” Lisha pouted, as she talked to him in a baby voice. 

“Shut up.”

“What a gangsta, telling me to shut up-” Lisha mocked.

Brian whined again. “Really, stop it….” It seemed like Lisha’s hobby for the past few months was annoying Brian. Mind you, that was usually his forte - annoying other people.

“Anyways... “ She was back to her normal voice now. “What was that interaction in the beginning about?” Brian flushed at the mention of it. He hoped she didn’t notice. For one, it was probably just a coincidence that his and Jae’s eyes met when he said the B word. Two, he said right after, that there was his classmate in the crowd called just that. Three, there is no way in the world Jae would remember their at most three-minute-long meeting from over a year ago.

“What do you mean?” He asks instead of listing all his reasons he thought about internally.

“You guys had a moment.” Lisha wiggled her brows at Brian. “He was literally looking at you after that mishap.”

“He SO didn’t.” Brian sputtered, he can only dream.

Lisha was in the midst of forming some sort of retort, Brian could already tell by the excitement in her face, but it was about the same time that few of the staff members told them to start queueing up for the hi-touch. 

His heartbeat rose over the roof, hopefully his heart is healthy enough to take today’s load of adrenaline. Just the thought of seeing Jae up close was surreal, and it was about to happen in minutes. They stood at the end, because somehow everyone kept pushing up front, Brian was, however basking in the moment. As nervous as he was, he was enjoying it. Being here with his friend to see person, so precious to him.

He knew that all that excitement that preceded this event, will be gone with after he walks out the door. So he tells himself that he’ll hold onto this happiness just a little bit longer. 

The queue was moving fast, it would be his turn soon, too soon, for too short of a moment.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jae was looking at his reflection. He admired the skills of the make-up artist - they managed to make his smudged eyes look presentable again and (of course) didn’t forget to scold him for rubbing his eyes beforehand, though. 

“Why do you look so nervous?” Wonpil pipes up, seemingly coming out of nowhere, because Jae could swear he was not beside him a second ago. Or Jae was simply too preoccupied with his thoughts to notice him.

“I’m not.” Jae straightened up.

“Yes you’re totally nervous.” Wonpil pointed at the beads of sweat that started to form on Jae’s forehead again. “Gross.”

Jae scowled at the shorter guy. “Well, exactly. Why would people pay extra money to see this-” He points to his sweaty self, “-up close?”

"You want the truth or the sugar-coated version?" 

"You know what…? I'd rather let this conversation be. Because you're not too good at sugar-coating."

Wonpil gasped in mock offence, One of his hands coming up to clutch at his heart. "How dare you Park Jaehyung! You keep on breaking my heart."

Jae crossed his arms at his chest and turned to Wonpil. "No worries. There is Sungjin who will mend it for you."

It was Wonpil's turn to scowl. Thankfully for Jae, he was ushered out of the waiting room for the hi-touch event.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Nameless smiling, shy, or tired faces flashed. It took only few seconds for one person to change to another and it seemed to Jae as if someone was screening a dozens of pictures in front of his eyes. - in other words, he felt like a goldfish, everything was a blur to him. Partly because of lack of contact lenses, partly because of how tired he felt. Tired to the point he felt like his body would give in at any moment. 

But then, the time slowed down. Curtain of long black hair entered his line of sight. Girl who seemed familiar, smiling back at him, teeling him _how amazing the show has been, how happy his music makes her._ She didn't get to say much, because someone else now stood in her place. 

As in slow motion, Jae took all of the guy in. His fox-like eyes, pointy nose, high cheekbones, chubby cheeks. The way the boy was cluthing his _Jae is my everything_ banner to his chest.

"Hello-" was all the boy said before Jae tentatively reached out his hand for a high-five. Although hesitantly, Brian let go of his banner and high-fived Jae. His hands were clammy, Just like Jae's.

"-I, I wanted to tell you, t-that-" 

Brian was cute, stuttering mess and Jae was living for it. "Tell me what..?" Jae prompted, hoped for time to be on his side just this one time. To let the seconds stretch for a tad longer.

"I'm sorry but you have to go-" Third voice interrupted, making Brian jump in his place. It felt too short. He didn't get to say what he wanted to say to Jae. He failed his life mission. Maybe he was overly dramatic over a person who barely knows he even exists...

Jae put on his widest (although apologetic) smile, which wasn't even hard considering he felt like smiling every time his eyes landed on Brian. "See you next time, Bri." He said at last after the security guy rudely started to show Brian away.

Said boy was too stunned with how  _ jae _ Jae was, to fully register their exchange. His brain can take only so much - it simply short-circuited. 

Brian expected Jae to look different up close, but truth to be told, he looked the same - to Brian he was beautiful no matter what. So he looked over his shoulder one more time, to engrave that beauty in his mind forever. 

And their eyes met again.


	10. Afterglow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concert ended, Brian is already depressed, Don is doing what every good friend is supposed to do - embarrassing his friend in front of other people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Hello, I'm back  
It took a little longer this time, but I think I finally figured out pacing and actual contents of this story till it's very end. So there's that.  
Also, I ultimately decided to add a little more spice, well, angst that won't really be too angsty once you'll know what's going on in upcoming chapters. No worries, it's just JaeBri being a little dumb.
> 
> Have fun reading, and please let me know if you liked, or not. All feedback is welcome. :)
> 
> p.s.: please excuse all the grammar errors, as English is not my first language

“So? How was it?” Terry asked, excited when he finally reached his girlfriend and draped his longs arms around her.

“AMAZING!” Lisha replied, trying to contain her excitement, which died when she looked over at Brian.

“What’s with him?” Terry asked as he looked at Brian, who was just soul-lessly walking by their side. It was actually Brian’s idea to meet up after the concert ends, to just hand out for a bit, so this mood that Brian was in, had Terry confused.

Both Lisha and Terry looked over to Don, who just rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. “Why always me?”

“Because he always opens up to you? Of all people? You?” Lisha replied, as if Don was an idiot and didn’t understand why he was always the one to talk to his friend.

“Can you at least lower your voice? He’s right there!” Terry hushed both of them.

Don looked over at Brian - who was quietly walking besides them, apparently not even listening to the conversation - then back at the giant by his side. “Yes, body is present but his mind is elsewhere. You could totally stick a bowl of steaming ramyun under his nose and he wouldn’t notice, I’m telling you.”

“So you’re going to talk to him...or?” Lisha could honestly be scary when she raises her brows and gives you that infamous scowl that makes you want to run for the hills.

“Yeah, yeah I will. But not because you told me to just now, but because I wanted to…” He was a man, he had his pride at stake. No girl is going to ever push him around, “because he’s my bestie, okay?”

Terry snorted. “Who even says bestie?”

“Someone who’s going to dig for personal feelings of his friend and not gonna share with anyone else.” And with that he pulled Brian to the side, falling back behind Lisha and Terry.

It was true, that most of the time, Brian came to him with things that he wouldn’t even talk to his parents about, but still… if they ever wanted to gain his trust, they should at least try to talk to him on a more personal level, shouldn’t they? Otherwise it’s always on his shoulders to have these deep talks with Brian. Don’t get him wrongh, though. He’s not mad about it, it’s just tough. There are times when he would like to help his friend get over certain problem, but he, himself, got no solution. 

“W-what, why are we-” Brian snapped out of his thoughts and looked around. “Where are they going?” He pointed to his two other friends walking hand-in-hand down the sidewalk, Lisha occasionally looking back at the two of them. 

“None is important, now-” He had his friend’s attention on him, as soon as Brian heard his serious tone. “-what is going on with you? Was’nt this suppposed to be like… happiest day of your life?”

Brian only pressed his lips together, trying to even out his breathing - he so felt it, that he would start crying just about any secont if he didn’t keep his cool. And he wasn’t a fan of crying in front of others. “Look, I’m fine… can we just go?” He tried, but Don only crossed his arms at his chest, still waiting for the actual reply. Since they were friends for too long of a time, Brian already knew that there is no way around it, that he would spend the rest of the night outside because Don wouldn’t let him leave until he explains. “So… I’m just depressed I guess?”

“About?” Don squinted at his friend.

Fox-eyed boy throws his hands in the air. “I don’t know… just all this.” He points back to the venue. “I waited several months for this day to come, and now poooof, all gone like a fart.”

Don outright laughed, Brian always had his way with words. “Fart? Really-”

“Shh, you asked for this. Don’t stop me now.” Brian’s eyes were comically wide, Don thought it was because Brian wanted to seem overly serious, truth was Brian didn’t want to blink his eyes at all because his eyes were already watery. “So that guy actually remembered my name-”

“What?” 

“Exactly! How in the world did he remeber my name? Of all people?” Here kicks in his low self esteem, suddenly feeling self-conscious about his bulging tummy, thicker than average thighs, second chin, chubby cheeks and the list in his head goes on. 

“What’s wrong with remembering you of all people?” 

“He’s not supposed to remember me!” Brian whisper-shouted, in order not to gather attention.

“Why in the world not? There is nothing wrong with you! You’re good-looking-”

“I’ll stop you right there-” Brian pipes up.

“Oh no, you ain’t stopping me now, Younghyun.” Brian visibly flinched at the use of his Korean name. “You’re hella good looking, it’s just your eyes that take all of you in the wrong way. There are many girls who like you at school-”

Brian raises his finger to say something. Don just rolls his eyes. “I know girls are not what you like, but again - there are people who find you interesting enough to look, talk or care about you. It’s all in that head of yours. Everyone likes you, what’s with your mindset, huh?”

“Actually, people laughed at me. They-”

“That was in elementary Younghyun! Years ago! Kids are hurtful and dumb, back then no one thought about what those words meant to you, but you need to get over it.” Don rubbed at his face. “You’re so lovable, so stop assuming someone - even Jae - wouldn’t remember you.” He paced around Brian, who kept turning around to look at his friend, intently listening (what he was good at) and hopefully (for Don) taking something from his TED talk. “You know what my mom told my after the first time you and Terry visited?” Brian shook his head no. “She said, ‘Younghyunnie is so adorable and well-mannered’” Brian smiled, recalling his first visit. “Do you know what she said about Terry?” 

Brian looked thoughtful for a second. “That he is handso-”

“Nope, that handsome thing was going on in that gay heart of yours… No, she asked ‘What was that other boy’s name again?’ So don’t tell me again people wouldn’t remember you.”

Brian visibly swallowed. “Terry is handsome in general, it’s not just me.”

Don rolled his eyes, was this the only part of the whole sentence that he heard? “Now back to your current struggles.”

“Okay, so he remembered my name-”

“And?” 

“We kinda, sorta had a moment in the beginning of the concert-” Brian shared and Don opened his mouth to ask but got stopped when Brian continued. “-but we are never talking about this in front of Lish, okay?” Don nodded and waited for the continuation. “And then… during the concerts, maybe it was just my imagination, but it felt like he was looking at me from time to time? But then agian, it could have been anyone standing behind me.”

“And…?” 

It seemed to Brian that Don grew genuinely interested in the events of the day, so Brian proceeded to tell him (as per usual) every single detail, how they waited for the hi-touch, what happened, how Jae smiled at him (and that it was the most beautiful smile ever) how he felt like melting on the spot, how he stuttered and how embarrassed he was about it, how he turned around and Jae was still looking at him.

“So you got the old man whipped for you it seems?” Don wiggled his brows.

Brian blushed profusely, his ears red as well. “Whipped… gosh, no!” He tried to cover his blush with his hands. “And he’s not old.”

“Oh-em-gee! It’s blushing, and squealing… and telling me twenty three is not old” Don teased. “Would you buy a car that has that much years?”

“Shut up. You cannot compare person to a car!” Brian was scandalised.

“Oho, why not, you’d ride both anyways.” Don wiggled his brows again.

“Wha-, I- I never- why-” Brian’s brain did a quick calculation and instead of coming up with something coherent, he slapped his friend on the back of his head.

“Ouch!” Don rubbed at the sore spot. “Okay, he’s ride you then?” 

Brian only facepalmed himself. “Why am I even friends with you?”

  
  
  
  
  


They decided to go to Burger King, simply because Brian was famished - his tummy grumbled right when Don caught up to him after Brian ran away, all red and embarrassed. Is there even a better way to finish off such and exhausting day than eat fast-food? Brian would fight anyone who’d say no to that question. 

“What are we getting?” Terry asked, as they waited for their turn. The place was quite packed for such hour of the day, but Brian supposed it was because of one simple reason, it’s Burger King closest to the venue of the concert. 

After several minutes, they made their orders, Brian going last - ordering french fries and salad. Terry looked at him as if he grew a second head. 

“Salad? Are you sure?” Terry blinked his eyes once Brian got his order in front of him, ready to dig in. “You know it’s THE vegetables, right?” Lisha’s sharp elbow ended in Terry’s ribs. “Okay, no need to be so abusive!”

Brian took a bite of his salad and made a face. 

“See? I knew it!” Terry hollered, but Lisha shut him up with a single glare. “Why did you even order it when you don’t like it?”

“Because it’s healthy, need to tell mom I ate this as well when she will be freaking out about the french fries.” He stated as if it was obvious, and munched on his salad further, not forgetting to look disgusted. He sometimes wondered why he was doing it to himself. 

Don took his own fork and stole some of the innocent-looking salad from Brian’s plate in order to help him. “You know you can always say you ate the salad and not actually order it, or not order it at all and say you did?” He munched for a while and took some more from his friend’s plate. “Not half as bad as you make it up to be, Hyunnie.” 

Oh how Brian hated when Don was babying him. Especially calling him Hyunnie, the way his mom always called him when she lectured him about his bad food choices. 

Lisha chuckled, as she couldn’t keep it in anymore. Exchanges between Brian and Don always got her laughing hard. There was something about their friendship that lacked in the one with Terry. Brian was carefree when it came to Don, but around Terry, he was always careful about everything. Lisha had something in mind, had her theory, but she was never the one to judge, or to make conclusions without evidence. 

She watched with a small smile further as Brian finished his dreaded salad with Don’s help, and then moved onto his french fries. “So, what did you guys talk about?” She asked at last, when it seemed that the atmosphere at the table was more or less back to how it usually was when it came to them. 

Brian tired to answer, but his mouth was full, so he kept on munching, holding up his finger for Lisha to wait - he’ll answer once he’s done.

No such luck, though. Because Don only ordered cola, and quickly swallowed to answer the question. “We were actually talking about Brian getting a driving licence-” Brian properly choked on his fries.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Once Brian finally closed the front door, he leaned against it. He had finally time to breathe after the whole day. When he thought that concert events were exhausting, conversation with Don was even worse, not to mention Don’s mishap with mentioning driving licence while he was eating - he could have choked to death! 

Brian’s time to breathe, however didn’t last long as his mom appeared in front of him, ready to ask bazillions of questions. She’d most likely start with ‘have you eaten yet?’ so Brian (sweet sweet soul) didn’t even let her start and told her he are dinner with his friends, which earned him a raised brow - otherwise meant, elaborate. He got an earful (once again) about proper healthy diet. It seemed like his stunt with salad wasn’t even necessary, because french fried killed the sentence when he explained what his meal consisted of.

“Once we get past that awful food choices of yours, how was it?” She waited eagerly for a response, although Brian still felt scared to even talk after being scolded for eating freaking potatoes. They’re vegetables too!

Brian told her the same story he told Don, minus the part where he thought his heart wouldn’t take it at numerous points during the day. His mom didn’t need to know that much details. He also left out several superlatives when it came to Jae, he was only good-looking in person, had great voice… Brian basically said all his mom probably wanted to hear, and left the main points out - the ones that were making his stomach feel like he had eaten hundreds of butterflies.

“I’m glad to hear you had a great time, love.” She said lovingly and pulled him in for a hug, just like she always did. Brian knew, that no matter how much she pestered him with eating healthy food, getting good grades, exercising she still loved him the way he was, little crazy about certain things, little plump, but smart and most importantly her only son. “I love you, Younghyunnie. You know that, right?” 

Brian only nodded his head where it rested on his mom’s shoulder. No matter how old he was, back when he was seven, or now when he is seventeen, hugs from his mom always felt the best hugs in the world. He was momma’s boy, what about it.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Night outside was pitch-black, not even moon shone through the curtains. Brian was already showered, lying in his bed, his fingers fidgeting relentlessly by his side. He wanted to sleep, he was extremely exhausted from being on his feet from early morning, but his brain couldn’t stop formulating all the thoughts. He kept on thinking and re-thinking about what happened, and what  _ could have  _ happened. He was thinking about the concert, about Jae, about the way Jae looked his way, how he squeezed his hand, how he said his name - ‘Bri’. Brian was in too deep, unfortunately for him, now on another level as well - not only as a fan, but as a person who is old enough, and wise enough to differentiate between his feelings, to now that that slightly uncomfortable feeling in his tummy wasn’t because he was perpetually hungry.

In what other way could his little heart possibly deal with all his inner turmoil than write it all down? Brian had his way for years. So he sat up on his bed again, reached for his laptop, opened it and let the screen illuminate his tired face. Upon loading one very important website, he logged in and started writing.

  
  


**bbyK-YH** sent a DM

Hello Jae,

I just wanted to tell you (what you probably already know) that you did well today, your band as well, of course.

Although the whole concert seemed to fly by in the blink of an eye, it was surely one to remember, at least for another year until you come to see us again. Or more like until we come to see you performing again. I don’t even make sense.

You’ll come next year as well, right? You’ve got to, we already miss you!

Thank you for this unforgettable night and giving me strength to go on. 

Stay happy and healthy, Jae.

Love, yours B.

  
  
  


Brian made sure to hit send button before he would have a chance to read and re-read, rewrite, or delete it all in the end. This was safe, Jae had no idea who this B person was, he never revealed his gender either, plus, there were over two thousand people attending, what are the chances Jae would know that plum Brian and this embarrassing person from youtube who sends messages from time to time are the same person?

Jae left him on read most of the time anyways, so Brian simply used this sort of communication as his  _ Jae diary _ \- where he wrote all Jae related thoughts on his mind at the moment .

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jae couldn’t sleep, he could never sleep after the concerts, but he always at least tried - mostly for Wonpil’s sake - poor Wonpil who was his designated roommate for the tour. Sungjin and Dowoon both outright said ‘no’ when he asked them, telling him something about  _ Busan bros bonding time _ this year around.

“Can you stop shuffling around?” Wonpil groaned from the other bed. 

“I’m trying to find the right position.” 

Wonpil turned on his bed and Jae could tell he turned to face him, because his voice was louder and clearer now. “You’ve been looking for the right position for the past hour Jae.”

“I know, sorry.” Jae mumbled, done with himself, too. He desperately wanted to sleep as well, it wasn't only Wonpil’s wish.

“Maybe you’d need one of those body pillows..? You know, the long ones you can hug and sleep comfortably.”

Jae rolled his eyes, but there was no way Wonpil would know, so he only said: “Definitely not.”

“Maybe you just need another body in the bed?” Wonpil laughed. “To tire you out?”

“Is this your way of getting into my pants?”

Wonpil gasped from the other bed, offended. “Excuse you, I’m taken.”

Jae suddenly paid more attention, upon hearing this new piece of information. “When did this happen?”

“Well, my heart is taken.” Wonpil corrected himself.

Jae laughed. “Just tell him already, I can’t watch you struggling around him anymore.”

Body on the other bed turned his back to Jae with finality. “Yeah, sure, good night, Mr. Love Expert.” 

“Goodnight.” Jae made a face at Wonpil’s remark. It was true he wasn’t the one to give out any sort of advice when it came to love department, since he was single pretty much since his K-pop Star days. He briefly dated one of the fellow contestants, but once they entered the same company they decided to rather stay good friends.

Sleep still didn’t come even after several more minutes when he already heard Wonpil snoring softly from the other bed. The best way to fall asleep for Jae was to check his good old friend, his phone. He was going through his notification bar, deleting the ones he didn’t really care about at the moment, checked twitter, instagram, kakao talk, just about every app, when he suddenly felt his phone vibrate. 

New youtube notification. 

New message.

Jae was fast to tap on it, swallowing loudly while the app loaded.

  
  


_ **bbyK-YH** sent a DM _

_ Hello Jae, _

_ I just wanted to tell you (what you probably already know) that you did well today, your band as well, of course. _

_ Although the whole concert seemed to fly by in the blink of an eye, it was surely one to remember, at least for another year until you come to see us again. Or more like until we come to see you performing again. I don’t even make sense. _

_ You’ll come next year as well, right? You’ve got to, we already miss you! _

_ Thank you for this unforgettable night and giving me strength to go on.  _

_ Stay happy and healthy, Jae. _

_ Love, yours B. _

  
  
  


Jae’s face split in two with a wide smile once he finished reading the message. This once fan never ceased to make him smile and give him strength - he was happy it went both ways. He always read the messages from this user, but only rarely replied, because he felt like it wouldn’t be fair to his other fans, because he interacted with them solely on twitter. Those messages were always simple and to the point, sometimes praising Jae’s work, sometimes just simple update from the person’s life - mostly when they saw or heard something and it reminded them of Jae. 

He found it cute, especially because this person has been his fan for years, and was still there for him - through thick and thin.

Today’s message seemed to Jae, that it needed a reply - there were simply too many question marks for him to simply overlook it and leave the person on read.

to  **bbyK-YH**

Hi, mine B.

Thank you for all your support, it may sound generic, but I’m really thankful for all your words throughout the years, although I don’t reply most of the time. :)

As for the concerts passing in a blink of an eye, I couldn’t agree more, B. This whole tour is almost finished without me even noticing, but I’ll make sure to come again ASAP, so please wait for us to come back to you. :)

I already miss you, too… my loyal fan ;)

You take care, too.

yours, J

Jae wrote his reply and hit send just like he is used to in conversations with his friends. How he wished his fingers weren’t so fast, once he realised how many smiley faces he typed. Gosh, even winking one. He was dead-tired, that was his excuse for all this. He just hoped he can trust this person not to leak any of this to anyone. 

Exhausted with his thoughts, he fell asleep shortly after, with his phone clutched in his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants to become friends, or just simply talk, or maybe receive updates on fics, or my incredibly amazing quarantine life, I'm on [twitter](https://twitter.com/mySiroSiro) so just find me, talk to me, I'm really awkward at first, so... please excuse that :D  
Love, T


	11. Sleep is for the weak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jae is busy and sleep-deprived 25/8, Wonpil acts brave for once in his life and user bbyK-YH is able to cheer Jae up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hello~  
Sorry for the 47 days I made you wait. I started two new fics in the meantime (allergy king Jae & fox hybrid Brian | pornstar Jae & Brian most importantly, his big fan) and somehow time slipped between my fingers while working on those and also because of life in general... 😅  
Hope this chapter will make up for the wait. 😭
> 
> I want to thank you all for leaving such kind comments or leaving kudos. I really had no idea this (what started as something I did out of boredom) will actually be interesting for all of you to read. ❤

Jae has been frantically running around, all day, all night for the past few weeks. Work has been kicking his ass, with his upcoming comeback still in the works, deadline was drawing near quite dangerously.

It’s been morning with his parents nagging him about his lack of sleep, his hurried departure from their home with his mom shouting after him ‘to finally sleep at night and work through the day’. Little did she know that idol life almost never works that way. It’s work, more work, transport between work and his dorm, doing some projects even in the silence of his own room, dozing off when he’s already too tired to keep his eyes open, dragging his whole drained being to the kitchen to make something that he’d like to call a good cup of coffee but is actually quite far from it.

The only things that help him to pull through such insane schedule are coffee, Jaedong - his parents’ dog, and the thought of his fans.

Speaking of fans, Jae sneaks a glance at his phone that has been lying untouched on his desk for hours. It’s another one of these crazy busy days where he has hardly any time to breathe - he’s been locked up in the studio ever since the early morning. 

Little break wouldn’t kill, right? 

Jae reached for his phone, and groaned at the amount of messages that accumulated in just a few hours since he last checked them. Two from Wonpil, sending him links to a (supposedly) funny videos that he probably won’t watch today, or…. ever - depending on his workload. Five messages from his mom, basically telling him to take care of his body, not to skip meals, to remember to sleep and not stay up too late - yet again. Jae should have known it wasn’t the brightest idea to reply to their family chatroom at ass o’clock in the morning, because that is a quite obvious proof of him not sleeping more than three hours a day.

Instead of replying to his messages or returning missed calls, Jae opened his youtube app, doing what has been oh-so familiar to him for the past months. He knew doing this was wrong, and unfair to about 99.9% of his fanbase, but he finally had someone to talk to. Not about anything too serious, just to let off some steam - weather, movies, food, even Jaedong.

He smiled without knowing when he read the last exchange - seemed like the person on the other end was a foodie, and Jae liked people with appetite.

to **bbyK-YH**

_ Did you really mean it when you said you can eat five? _

_ I find it quite impossible… but then again, I’m a walking noodle myself, it would be cannibalism. _

  
  


He smiled to himself at his own reply. He found it quite easy to talk to this person, even though there were no informations shared, no name, no age, or current location. But Jae never really needed that, he only wanted for someone to listen. Someone to be there for his weird, tired self. Someone who would talk to him about… noodles for instance. He just wanted to feel normal, just for a bit, before he jumped right back into the wild whirl of work and responsibilities.

Reply comes within seconds, which is quite unusual, given the time in Toronto. 

_ Why are you up _ , crossed Jae’s mind as he taps on the message to read the contents.

**bbyK-YH**

_ Five is nothing, just a snack. Just don’t let anyone else know I eat like a pig, I’d be embarrassed in front of them. _

_ Funny you say your resemble noodle, I’d swear I know people who say you look like a chicken. _

to  **bbyK-YH**

_ Should I be concerned about this statement ruffling my feathers, then? _

_ Also, stop comparing yourself to a pig. I love pigs, by the way. Just… don’t do it. All my fans are amazing and beautiful people. _

There was no reply for another few minutes and Jae supposed that the person on the other side already went to sleep.

to  **bbyK-YH**

_ I’ve got some news. You probably gathered as much, but… I’ll be releasing something in couple weeks. _

_ I’m telling you only so that you prepare yourself, I think I like this the most from all that we’ve released so far. _

Jae waited some more, but even after several minutes his message was still left unread. He smiled to himself and checked the time - someone probably already fell asleep.

_ Good night, dearest B. _

He hit send and put his phone away. He needed to finish the song he was working on, after all.

On the other side of the world, chubby hand that was hanging from the side of the bed clutching the phone loosened and it hit the floor with a thud.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Next day, Sunday, was another one of those days when Brian and Don would be on their way to a nearby cafe for their part-time job. They decided to do it together because Don was saving to buy a new game console, while Brian - to put it simply - he needed money for his fanboy activities.

“Brian, not to be that person but what's with the bags under your eyes?" Don eyed his friend up and down. "Did you pull all nighter watching porn or something?"

Brian glanced to the side to look at his friends. His eyes were impossibly wide and cheeks red. "W-what? NO!" He sputtered, looked around only to notice someone who walked past them giving them weird looks. He lowered his voice. "I didn't watch porn!" 

"Okay, Easy. Calm down tiger." Don pats down his friends back as if he was trying to sooth him. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. I promise. Everyone watches porn."

"Certainly not everyone. I'm telling you I wasn't-" Moment of silence, and Brian thought about all possible outcomes of the situation, decided to tell the truth. "I was chatting with someone."

It was Don's turn to widen his eyes. "Yooo, when did this happen?" 

"What do you mean  _ 'when did this happen' _ ?" He parroted, trying to sound annoying, hoping his friend will stop bombarding him with questions.

"You don't even go out, except for the part-time job, you don't have any friends-"

_ OUCH. _

"- I'm pretty sure it must be someone I know. Now that I think about it, you changed, man. You're not  _ Jae this, Jae that,  _ anymore." Don looked at Brian. "Who are you and what have you done to my friend?"

_ Right, and it's not just you who knows the guy, we're literally talking about Jae, it’s always about Jae.  _ Brian thought, but stayed quiet, hoping his friend would, for the love of Jae, stop asking.

"So when did you get together?" Don asked and Brian couldn't help but hear the excitement in his voice, the way he cheered for him even though he knew nothing just yet, and Brian planned on keeping it that way.

"We're not  _ together _ . We're not like  _ that. _ " Brian tried not to sound too sad about it. "We're just talking. Just friends.”

"Just talking, huh? Remember that time when we asked why Terry kept missing our playdates? He also only  _ talked _ to Lisha. And look at them now." Don wiggled his eyebrows, his mischievous eyes boring into Brian’s. He hoped to pull some information out of his friend, but at the same time he knew that Brian is very private about his love life. 

Non-existent love life, but Don didn’t really need to know.

“So? Do you talk like  _ that _ ?” Don tried again.

“Stop.” Brian whined and sped up, seeing the cafe in the distance and hoping to reach it as soon as he possibly could.

“No really, if you don’t talk like how Terry talked to Lish, can  _ I  _ talk to him? Is it someone I know?” 

Brian has to give it to him, he’s persistent. To the point where Brian’s actually the one getting annoyed. “I AM NOT TELLING YOU!” 

  
  
  
  
  


Days turned into weeks, weeks into months and in fact, Brian still wouldn’t Don. His friend had no idea who the person that made his friend blush with a single text was. 

Although Brian always said that they were  _ not like that _ , that they only talked like friends, his whole being said otherwise. Anytime Don looked over at his friend, be it at school, when they went out or during their part-time job, Brian had that sweet smile on his face, he was practically glowing. He kept denying everything, but Don knew, that something deeper than just friendship was going on, at least from his friend’s side. 

It was another weekend, where the cafe was more or less full, and Brian finally found the time to check his phone, while half-heartedly wiping the counter with his other hand.

“Stop smiling like that, it makes my knees weak.” 

Brian stopped cleaning the counter, smile wiped off his face. “Sorry, I wouldn’t want you to fall for me.” 

“It’s okay, I know your heart belongs to another.” Don sniffled, and clutched at his shirt, wrinkling it. Brian wrinkled his nose in return at the action.

“Stop trying I’m not telling you.” He rolled his eyes and quickly locked his phone before his friend could try something funny. His smile slowly crept back. “I can’t believe that you’re still this curious.” Don just shrugged, mumbled something along the lines of  _ I’ll find out anyways. _

  
  
  


There was a truth in those words, Brian didn't really need to  _ tell _ , Don. That was simply because one faithful day, when he was on his break sitting at one of the tables in an almost empty cafe they worked at, he was too into the conversation, too over the moon to notice someone creeping up his back, looking straight onto the screen of his phone. 

He noticed only after he heard a gasp behind him notified him of someone unwanted. 

Don, although with wide eyes and shock all over his face, had also ridiculously wide grin plastered on his face. "You sly fox!" 

Brian quickly locked and hid his phone behind his back. "What do you mean?"

"I JUST SAW YOU EXCHANXING DMS WITH YELLOWPOSTITMAN!" He screeches as if it wasn't Brian's biggest secret. 

Brian jumped up to cover his friend's mouth, before something worse would get a chance to crawl out. "It's not like that-"

"Yeah, sure. That's why he sent you the emoji with hearts instead of eyes and right after,  _ you're pretty _ , huh?" Brian was losing it. He didn't want to overshare with Don, especially when there was  _ nothing like that  _ between them. 

Hell, Jae didn't even know who was on the other side. They still went with B, no specific gender and no picture attached. Well, Jae asked about his pic few minutes ago, and the only thing that his brain came up with was to send a picture he had saved on his phone - one of the fox plushie he got for his birthday, many years ago.

And yes, true. That jae replied with 😍😍 and  _ you're pretty  _ but it was all a joke. To Jae, that was sure. Brian took it as seriously as a joke could be taken. Jae liked to joke a lot.

"Now explain!!" Don pressed. "When did this start?"

Brian skipped who yellowpostitman was, because Don knew for years. He told him all the details about Jae that he didn't really need to know all throughout their friendship. He shared all that happened - their first meeting in person before the Kcon, the occasional meetings of their eyes during Jae's concert in Toronto the following year, events during the hi-touch. His conversations with Jae, where he still hid his identity, even after months of exchanging messages. 

Don was surprised, at Brian's nerve to do something like this and not freak out, because it was Jae Park they were talking about! Also, because Jae sincerely didn't care about  _ who  _ was on the other end, it really seemed like he liked to talk to Brian, without really pushing him into anything he didn’t want, or asking for things he probably knew he’d do for Jae.

Brian expected his friend to say something once he finished his fairytale-like story, but it only left Don gaping at him, probably looking for right words to sum it all up. 

Once Don was done with processing, he looked to Brian with a little frown. "So what you're telling me is that you had interaction with this guy-"

"Jae." Brian interjected.

Don rolled his eyes. "-with this guy," he repeated and Brian scrunched his nose in distaste, "and he probably likes your annoying ass in real life, and even in the online convo, yet you're still insecure about your identity, about telling him that you are indeed  _ the  _ Brian just because of your weight?" Don shakes his head. "When will you  _ finally  _ realise how charming and good looking you are?"

"You're saying that because I'm your friend." Brian weakly protests.

Don crossed his arms over his chest. "Nope. I’m saying that because I have eyes."

Brian blushed a little at the comment, shaking his head. 

After that, there wasn’t really a reason for Brian to hide away from his friend, he only hoped he won’t run his mouth when others would be around. He even let Don read some of the messages, it was all innocent after all, there was really nothing going on...

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**October 2018**

  
  


It was the day before the concert and Jae knew how important the rehearsal was. They intentionally scheduled it the day before, because he wanted it to be done, to have the morning of the concert day free, to sleep in, take his time, because this jet lag he has been suffering from? It was not fun. His whole body felt ready to fall asleep any second, but it was only afternoon. He needed to keep his brain alive, so he did what always made him stay alert but at ease at the same time.

**to bbyK-YH**

_ B, you there? I need you to cheer me up! _

_ Hello- _

_ It’s me- _

_ I was wondering- _

_ If- _

**bbyK-YH**

_ I’m here!! No need to continue!! I got it. _

**to bbyK-YH**

_ where is my treatment to make my mood better, then? _

**bbyK-YH**

_ are you french? _

**to bbyK-YH**

what the hell, b...

no?

american, remember?

**bbyK-YH**

_ because Eiffel for you… _

  
  


Jae stopped typing his next message, because someone, namely Wonpil tapped him on the shoulder. He came to remind him that everything was set, rehearsal was about to start. All they needed was Jae.

“Just a minute, I got to-” Jae pointed to his phone.

Wonpil grinned. “Take all the time you need, but it’s not like you two didn’t talk yesterday or the day before that…” 

**to bbyK-YH**

_ gtg, B _

_ rehearsal is about to start _

_ it’s so weird to call you B _

_ B you there? _

_ how about i call you Bee? _

_ Huh? _

_ Since you’re not complaining I’ll call you Bee. _

**bbyK-YH**

_ have fun, Jae _

_ sure, Bee is fine _

_ as long as you’ll be my Honey _

Jae grinned at the last message. He wanted to reply, but Sungjin calling for him made him jump from his seat and move. Pocketing his phone, he went towards the stage. He didn't need grumpy Sungjin to scold him.

  
  


Rehearsal took longer than expected and when it was about half way through, someone asked for a short break - everyone seemed to be quite exhausted.

  
  


When the staff that kept circling around certain guitarist finally left the stage, Wonpil took his chance and went to sit next to him, which earned him only a raised brow. Wonpil concluded that even that is better than nothing… or rather the ignoring that had been going on for weeks now.

It was downright unusual for Wonpil to come over, most of the time, he would only watch Sungjin have conversations with others, while he would be sitting in the opposite corner of the room with Jae. He was never brave enough to approach the other. It was mostly the other way around, that too, only when Sungjin found himself alone and had something work-related to talk about. Otherwise, he always seemed like he was okay by himself, in his own little world that consisted of the stool he was sitting on, his phone where he went through who knows what and his precious food. It wouldn't be Park Sungjin without food.

From across the room, Jae had to witness probably the clumsiest flirting ever. 

Wonpil seated on the stool that was left there by a staff member, right next to Sungjin. Wonpil was trying to persuade Sungjin to try the peanuts that he brought with him, while the other kept on saying no, stuffing his face with his own sandwich. Wonpil even tried feeding the other, only to get rejected again. 

Dejected, Wonpil looked over to Jae with a shrug. It had always been like that. Whatever Wonpil tried, it never worked. It was like Wonpil was an egg and Sungjin a non-stick pan.

_ Freaking spit it out, Pil.  _ Jae mouthed and at that time, he was hundred percent sure Wonpil would keep quiet just as he always did when things were Sungjin related.

But in that moment of bravery, Wonpil listened to Jae's advice for once. At that time, Jae was sure he made the right thing by pushing Wonpil to confess, but it only took Wonpil saying something and things went to shit.

"I like you, Sungjin-hyung."

That one sentence was all it took for the rehearsal to be cut short. Sungjin started to choke on his food and right after he was out of danger, he excused himself because of being unable to concentrate after almost dying. 

He left without saying much more, or even sparing Wonpil a glance. 

"You okay?" Jae asked when Wonpil, who's face was drained of blood plopped down on the stool next to Jae. Place where he seemed to belong.

Wonpil looked over and only then Jae - even- with his bad sight noticed watery eyes staring back at him. "Do I look like I'm okay?"

Jae gulped. He had no idea what to say, or what to do, because although he wasn't sure that Wonpil would confess, he was sure that  _ if he did,  _ Sungjin would finally man up and tell Wonpil he felt the same. 

But now? 

Jae was left with almost crying Wonpil, and guilt weighing him down. Therefore Jae did what he knew worked like magic, something his mom did everytime she needed to comfort him. 

He pulled Wonpil into a tight embrace. "You can do it, my friend. We're in this together." Wonpil sobbed into Jae's shoulder, but nodded his head. 

"Now how do we cheer up our sunshine in order to smile again? How about coffee and a really, really sweet cake? Sounds good?"

Jae only hears some sort of noise between sob and laugh and feels Wonpil nodding his head yes. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope all of you are doing well, and if not, do not feel bad about it. Don't feel like you're something less if you don't feel happy at the moment. All the dark clouds shall pass and even our precious6 is taking a break. Everything will be good again🌿🍃
> 
> Thank you for reading~
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/mySiroSiro)


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